millie; 19

avatar | disney | kpop
sherlock | food | ghibli


i got my first kiss today.

i am happy :)

there is this guy.

lol there is basically no other way of ungenerically saying what i’m going to say next, so quite generically: i think i really like him. i realize most of this post is going to sound pretty generic too (“i like this guy! i looove talking to him!”) but let me write out my feels anyway.

sooo i’ve never felt so comfortable around a guy before. i mean, for a while i wondered if maybe i just like him as a gay best friend type because he’s so easy to be around? lol but then that theory didn’t work because i’m still really attracted to him. literally hours pass by alarmingly quickly whenever we talk - the first time this happened, we meant to have a 20 minute lunch together, but the next time we looked at the clock two hours had passed (?!) and we were both like “wat”. but he likes pokemon! and video games! and disney! and has even seen miyazaki! ahhh.

i feel a little inferior next to him though because he’s pretty much brilliant at everything academic, and also really worldly and popular and fun to boot. i’m not very sure why he seems to be interested in me because i’ve seen him around his friends and he’s even livelier around them, but in the meantime i’m sure not complaining if we hang out together a lot :P i’m going to end this moony post here before it veers dangerously off into creepy obsessive territory or something but yes fun timezzz (ノ◕ヮ◕)ノ

the marathon is over


let me repeat that once more just for good measure FREEEEEEEEEEE

i have been stressing about this week since two weeks ago when i realized i had two exams on the same day plus a paper plus a huge project all in the course of four days. and for the past week or so i’ve been panicking even more not only bc all my deadlines were looming closer but also because my chamber group demanded i learn the last movement of our quartet in a week and i had to declare my major and plan out my courses for the next 3 years and then the piano society picked this week to hold its recital and have all its social events and publicize itself and then my roommate had a dance show i wanted to go to and i even went on a date and add that to all of my usual homework and i was like HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO GET THROUGH LIFE

but it’s all good! because the paper got done, i didn’t quite finish learning my quartet but got close enough that no one was angry, declared yesterday and turned in my plan of study, successfully got a grant for $60 worth of berryline for our piano society mixer wahaha, didn’t make it to the dance show :(, went to a really nice teashop for a really nice date, woke up at the crack of dawn to poster the campus and publicize our recital, squeezed my homework in somehow, managed to study for my exams, plussss still had a tiny bit of time for tumblr and sleep! then i took my two exams today and i already got the grade back for one of them and i did pretty decently \O/

also, once today is done i am so done too. harvard-yale is coming up and i suppose i must fill my quota of one party/semester so i might as well do it this weekend as everyone’s going to be on a high anyway that we crushed yale…again. until i leave for break i just want to do all the fun things i’ve wanted to do all semester and that my roommates have all done except i have not bc I WAS STUDYING D: like bake. and watch movies. and possibly go to the symphony. and chinatown. and shopping. yes i like shopping. 

so yeah once again it just feels so good to be FREEEE.

actually i lied. this entire post has been a lie. i am not yet free. it may be 6 am and my project partner and i may still be putting the finishing touches on our paper but the point is that those are finishing touches and freedom is so close i can smell it

allow me to tell you about my day today

actually just about the last four hours

so there was a school-wide activities fair today - mainly for the freshmen so they can see what ec’s look cool, but the upperclassmen go to bc there’s food and the dhalls always close for this fair lol. so i was there. AND THEN I DISCOVERED THE SCIENCE FICTION ASSOCIATION ANNDDDD A RUBIK’S CUBE CLUB! i wanted to weep in joy but i am nothing if not dignified in public so i didn’t. but i was so so ridiculously excited and plus the intro meetings are tomorrow and i am going to have a BLASTTT \O/

and then on the way back to my dorm it started pouring. so i was like yeah ok not trekking for 20 min in this weather nope, i’ll just take the shuttle instead since it’s supposed to come in a few min anyway. so i waited outside at the stop, but there was nothing to hide under, and then it turned out the bus took 15 minutes instead, so i just stood there like a total dumb, getting utterly soaked :( there were two guys waiting with me. one of them had a large plastic trash bag over him lolol and there was only a tiny circle of his face peeking out, but he was really cute and saw me getting wet and kept saying things to me like “hey so i just called and the bus will be here soon!” and at one point even offered me his plastic bag and i was just like AW YOU

and then the other dude. he was also really attractive except he had a huge umbrella and a jacket with a hood and he just. stood there. and at one point had the nerve to stare at me, like “why are you out in the rain getting wet” and i was this close to walking up to him and being all UH HI WOULD YOU LIKE TO SHARE YOUR UMBRELLA OR SOMETHING i am a damsel in distress do you have a piece of coal for a heart. but i am nothing if not polite so i didn’t, and just mentally labelled him as a poopface for eternity instead :c

Anonymous asked : F H I J R U X Y

YAY more questions! i like you, anon, i do. sorry this is a little late though, i’ve been moving in the past few days. and is there no way to do a read more cut bc i fear this answer might be long :\ anyway, here goes.

F. If you could take on the exact body and form of anyone else on Earth, who would it be?

i could probably close my eyes and blindly choose any girl from my school because nearly all of them are smart, attractive, skinny, friendly, nice, seemingly perfect people and i am just here like :|||| oh wait, only physical appearance? hmmm karlie kloss then, because she is downright gorgeous.

H. If it meant it would solve all world hunger, war, disease and bigotry, would you spend the rest of eternity in Hell?

no, of course not. i don’t think i’m particularly cold-hearted, but i am certainly not as self-sacrificing as jesus or something and willing to give up my life so others can enjoy theirs. also, the logistics of this confuse me. if i could solve all those problems, then there’d be a huge, sudden boost in population, but since the world can’t possibly have enough resources for all of us for an extended period of time, we’d soon develop the issues all over again.

but let’s just say that earth could magically generate enough for everyone. even then i wouldn’t, because issues as big as world hunger and war and prejudice should only be solved by many people working together and learning how to respect one another and reach compromises, not by a single person damning himself, no matter how sincere the gesture. and besides, those growing up in the problem-free world wouldn’t even truly understand and appreciate how remarkable their surroundings are if everything’s just been handed to them on a silver platter.

tldr: NAW. 

I. Was the first crush in your life something you had or something someone had on you?

lol i’m like 99% positive it was something i had first bc my first crush was in the 1st grade and idek what my hormones were doing then when everyone else around me was like EW COOTIEZ

J. Could you live without having sex ever (again) in exchange for eternal youth?

so uh let’s assume for the sake of this question that i have had sex before and it is as mindblowing and awesomesauce as everyone says it is lol. bc NOPE i would not give it up for eternal youth. nawp. i guess i’m sort of a…traditionalist? conventionalist? idk the word for it rn but PEOPLE ARE SUPPOSED TO GROW OLD. it would be nice to not ever have to worry about severe wrinkles or white hairs or something, but i imagine it’d also get kind of tiring to look at your never-changing young face after a while. it just seems like such a superficial desire, wanting to stay young forever. besides, i want to grow old with someone. and plus, sex feels good. (because i totally know. yes.)

R. Do you have any (secret) feelings of bigotry to any group of people?

yes, because i am only human, and most people do, no matter how much they otherwise insist. it’s obviously not something i encourage in myself, but you absorb it from around you as you grow up, and there are little clouds of prejudice here and there that i suspect will always be floating around in my brain.

U. If you were old enough and not in a situation where it would be inappropriate, would you sleep with one of your (past) school teachers/professors?

bahaha i wouldn’t mind. my math tf and course assistant last semester were actually pretty cute and hot, respectively /cackles and runs 

X. You can eliminate one of your five senses to substantially strengthen the others, which one and would you do it?

no. noooo this is hard no stop. but ok. i can’t imagine living without being able to hear. no sight and touch would suck too, so it comes down to either taste or smell. BUT I CAN’T CHOOSE WHICH?? bc taste it’s taste how can i just give it up when half the happiness in my life is derived from food :c but on the other hand, without smell the food would mostly taste bland anyway so in conclusion, IDK :c

Y. Do looks mean anything to you? Don’t lie, could you fall in love with someone you thought was ugly?

in terms of myself, yes, looks mean something. i like to look nice and i expect myself to dress presentably. in terms of other people, not as much. if you’re friendly and can stand my awkwardness enough to carry on a conversation with me, i don’t care how you look, I LIKE YOU. in terms of other people i may potentially fall in love with, no, i don’t think i could fall in love with someone i think is hideous.

WOW THAT WAS LONG. but fun! send me moar anon \O/

i leave for school tomorrow

i need to pack :c but i don’t want to :c because i’m still kind of denial that i am going to be a sophomore in college and entering my second decade of life soon and can’t just sit around on tumblr ogling attractive asian males all day anymore and have to actually start passing myself off as something reasonably close to an adult and can’t eat my mom’s cooking anymore.

but mostly because i have to pack. and that never goes well. because right when i have rounded up my pants i look around and see that half my shirts have jumped out of the suitcase. along with the toothbrush. and the socks. they are just all too sly.

sad for me.

Anonymous asked : A D O

A. If you could get away with one murder in your lifetime without any legal, social, or emotional repercussions, would you kill someone?

yes! lol maybe i shouldn’t sound so excited. but it would be really nice and convenient and relieving if you could just do away with that one incredibly irritating and hateful person in your life.

D. Would you rather know everything the universe has to offer but in exchange lose all emotions or remain the way you are now?

remain the way i am now, definitely. the world would be an awful, awful place if you couldn’t have emotions. your brain might also explode from so much knowledge. i do not savor the idea of brainsplosions.

O. Would you rather spend one year with your one true love just to never see them again or the rest of your life with second best?

ack what a terrible choice :c but i believe there are a number of people who suit you very well, rather than a single ‘soul mate’, so i’d go with the one year with my one ‘true’ love - even if i never see him again and it’d be really devastating, there might still be others after him who i could be equally as happy with. on the other hand, spending your entire life with second best is kind of like imprisonment, and you’re forever wondering if there’s anyone better out there.

- PENCIL: You know, I'm really sorry.
- ERASER: For what? You didn't do anything wrong.
- PENCIL: I'm sorry, 'couse you get hurt because of me. Whenever I make a mistake, you're always there to erase it. But as you make my mistakes vanish, you lose a part of yourself. You get smaller and smaller every time.
- ERASER: That's true, but i don't really mind. You see, I was made to do this. I was made to help you whenever you do something wrong. Even though, one of these days, I know I'll be gone and you have to replace me with a new one, I'm actually happy with my job. So please, stop worrying. I hate seeing you sad.
here is a mournful ode to my phone

there once was a tricksy old phone
whose owner cleverly always silenced its tone
thus whenever she sought
find it, she did not
and so she could not communicate with her friends on a textual basis and stay in the loop as those young ‘uns these days would say and felt quite sad and alone